Time and time again I hear the words “I’d love to come and work with you but only when I’ve lost X stone”. We live in a society which generally presents a slim, hourglass figure as the way to be valued.
But the truth is that few of us naturally have that shape and as we reach peri menopause, any waistline that we may have once had is usually taken away from us too. What this societal pressure does is tell us that if we are not this shape and size that we are somehow NOT as worthy as the person who is that shape and size.
Because we feel we are not worthy, we spend less time, money and effort on ourselves. We hide in dark, shapeless clothes and tell ourselves that we’ll start to dress better once we’ve reached our weight goal.
But the truth is if you’re in a space where you’re unhappy with your body, this is actually THE time to invest in yourself.
This is the time to increase your compassion for yourself.
This is the time to see yourself through more loving and accepting eyes.
Your body deserves peace and compassion.
And that involves consciously directing kindness to yourself, however tricky you may find it.
So what can you do? Here are my 3 top tips to get you started;
1/ Instead of wishing for something different with your body, thank your body for something it does well. Instead of hating something, find another part of your body you actually like (I love my white streaks) and focus on how to highlight this.
2/ Instead of spiralling into a social media funk, unfollow anything that’s unhelpful to you. If what you see sparks negative feelings about yourself, please think about deleting or unfollowing. Then replace with body neutral or health-at-every-size bloggers.
3/ Stop punishing yourself by wearing clothes that are too tight or similarly too baggy. Get yourself a few ‘new to you’ pieces that make you feel good. Don’t take a blind bit of notice of the size tag and instead make your decision based on how it makes you feel when you’ve got it on.
Remember that self-compassion is a habit. That negative self-talk you’ve been perfecting over the years has simply become the way you operate. It’s become your first and only reaction.
So we need to break those old habits and create new ones. Change can be tricky (the brain can be a proper pain to re-wire) but with practice it becomes easier and easier and before you know it, compassion instead of criticism will become your new habit.
Hope this helps x